the truth.

so today, i didn't exactly had a hard one. but i found out about truth. it actually doesn't matter because maybe they weren't true at all. i'm going to be really dumb here and bring in my horoscope. they say that Leos are the most loyal and passionate. i agree. they say they can be hardworking. that, i don't agree. i am not going to put in much effort if the other party isn't putting in effort. i won't put in effort AT ALL if i find it a total waste of time or if i'm bored and sick of it. that's just me. but generally, Leos put friendship and love among anything else. (not that education is not important, please la.-.-)

no, i'm not using my laziness as an excuse because i've just admitted that i'm lazy so you got nothing on me. (:

here's what happened:
wendy is pissed off with me. i'm glad she came clean with me because now i know where i stand and who's been real. who is virtually no one. yet. maybe except wendy but that is because she told me personally and i accept that i have been a douche for projects and assignments. now, i didn't argue nor rebutt nor tell her how i feel. because people wouldn't understand me. it did hurt when she told me everything. but i rather get hurt knowing the truth than realise that i have been taken for a ride. which, i guess, that was what they did. really insignificant things like having lunch together or printing stuff. and it's stupid because i'm just someone whom they can ask to do brainless things (actually it's true, i like doing brainless things) with so they don't look like a freak. they say two's a company, so that would make two freaks, you know? something like that. but i'm done with that. they do every single shit together and their reason for not asking me along any more is because i am "always running what!" or "call you also last minute say don't want". HEY, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID PASSION DRIVES YOU. SO WHY ARE YOU JUDGING ON MY PASSION? did i scoff at theirs? i supported them. really. and i expected them to do the same for me. even if they don't want to support me physically, at least academically. they know very well that i'm struggling and they're just half-heartedly telling me to go school. this is not right. not right at all.

all that i am is numb. kind of. i'm just bearing with the pain to get through the days.

enough is enough. i will cheer up soon. i will be happy again.
because blue skies are coming.